Lessons Learned from a Quilt

I am a lousy blogger!  But I'm going to turn over a new leaf and take a lesson from my friend Laura, who faithfully blogs once a month.  I can handle once a month! 

In her February blog, Laura posted pictures of quilt blocks I pieced.  She called them Love on the Square.  They were my first Stack and Whack project, and they hooked me on that method.  Those blocks are now a completed quilt, which was given to my darling daughter-in-law Talara, for her birthday.

The quilt was the third one I quilted on the quilting machine that took up residence at my house a few months ago.  It was also very challenging and frustrating and sent me to the chiropractor twice!  Well, the quilt didn't do those things, my being overly ambitious about the quilting of the quilt did those things.  I was so grateful when the thing was completed, and certain it was a disaster that I would be embarrassed to give away.

The amazing thing  about these photos is that they were taken about 12 feet above the quilt. I'm not the photographer Laura is, but my zoom is great and I'm astonished at how the quilting detail stands out.

But, here's the lesson.  I pulled the quilt off the machine, laid it out, and was amazed!  It was lovely!  All the little missed design points, funny looking hearts, and weird spirals melted into a beautiful whole.  A metaphor for life.

Update on Last Custody Trial

Never, never take anything or anyone for granted.  I mentioned in my last post that I had completed my last custody trial for a client I had represented for 7-8 years.  After the trial was over and everyone had left the courtroom, I reached out my hand to shake my client's hand.  Instead of shaking my hand, we hugged and I held him as he started to sob in relief.  "I was so afraid I had lost her," he said in reference to his daughter. 
"She's yours forever now."   We both knew that there would be now more attempts by his ex-wife to take his daughter away and he could raise her now without threat of the court intervening again.

That's what we thought and that's what we planned. But one never knows. 

We never thought that just three weeks later, on his way home to his daughter from a wonderful new job for which they'd moved to Oregon, that my client, Bruce, would be killed in a head-on car accident.  We never anticipated that his daughter, for whom he fought so hard, would be returned to her mother after all and that his young sons would be left to clean up the estate. Or, that I would be helping them make sense of insensible things. 

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to send Bruce an email or call him to discuss what he wanted done. And, how many times since hearing about this death I've thought how pointless our fight was and what a waste of valuable time it was. Time he could have spent with his daughter and other family members. 

So, hug your own loved ones and appreciate each moment you have with them. And, please, please, don't make the mistake of spending years of your life fighting over your loved ones. In the end, you may not have time to make it up to them. 

Last Custody Trial

I've kept a few remnants of my old world, where I was a full-time attorney in a law firm who litigated on a regular basis. But as my new world as an alumni director becomes more and more demanding, my old world has become more and more distant. Especially since I haven't been replacing clients as their cases have finally been resolved.

One of my very last clients is the father of 3 children. He and his ex have been fighting over the kids for 14 years! The youngest child who is 14, has never known anything but litigation between her parents. I've been representing him since 2001.

The thing that distinguishes this case from others is that the ex represents herself. This makes the case extremely challenging and makes everything about three times harder as she doesn't understand issues or confuses things or just won't listen.

We've been to court many times over the years. Four years ago I successfully got him awarded custody of his kids, only to have him return two of them to their mother within the year. But, he hung on to the youngest, his only daughter, with all his strength.

Well, two years ago, the ex filed a motion to get custody of the daughter too. And we went to court this week. It was long and nasty, but in the end, my client will keep his daughter. The other two children will be or are adults now. We were all tired of the litigation and they all swear they won't go back to court. I'm hoping so, as I'm especially tired of their fighting over the children.

Today was a milestone for several reasons. One, I prevailed one more time for my client. But, somewhere along the way, I also determined that my custody trial days are now over. I love litigation, but my life is clearly going somewhere else. And, unless I make a U-turn, there won't be time or room for custody trials. So, I'm going out in a blaze of rulings in my favor. And, it feels good to know that I won't have to wear two hats; at least I won't wear the litigator's hat any more. I'm not sure what I am if I'm not a litigator, but it's probably time to find out.